To Sort a Slytherin
by Slytherin Head
Summary: Come in and take a look at the conversations Severus Snape, Millicent Bulstrode,Pansy Parkinson and other characters had with the Sorting Hat before they were sorted in to Slytherin.Written for the "Conversation with a hat" Challenge.
1. Severus Snape

Disclaimer- All hail JK Rowling! She is the one and only owner of the Potterverse. If it were mine I wouldn't be sharing Severus with anyone.

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"Snape, Severus"

_"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"_

"A boy, you brainless hat."

_"Oh, a boy, and one with an attitude too. Hmm... you know it's rude to talk to your elders like that young man."_

"You know— I could care less. Let's just get this over with."

_"Why so moody?"_

"You put my best friend in Gryffindor, that's why."

_"I could put you in Gryffindor too. Yes, you are very brave and loyal to your friend."_

"I don't belong in Gryffindor."

_"You may not think so child, but you do. For you see, your heart is full of bravery. You are like a lion waiting to attack and surprise your enemies if they dare to harm your friends and family. Yes, Gryffindor would be perfect for you."_

"Please don't put me in Gryffindor. I didn't mean to call you brainless."

_"Why don't you want to be a Gryffindor? Isn't your friend there?"_

"Lily won't care if I'm in Slytherin. She'll still be my friend."

_"Oh, so you want to go to Slytherin, don't you? Yes, you do have quite the amount of cunning, but why Slytherin?"_

"My mum was in Slytherin. If she finds out I'm in Gryffindor and freaks out, dad will— "

_"Your dad will do what, child?"_

"Nothing, just ignore what I said."

_"Hmmm, you know I wonder if perhaps I should put you in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff."_

"You know, I wonder how fast it takes a thousand-year-old hat to burn? Better yet, if one could use pieces of it for potion ingredients? Who's the Potions professor? I could ask them if it's possible."

_"The Potions professor is Horace Slughorn, and for your information, you can't burn me or use me to brew potions. That's cruel thinking for someone so young."_

"And your point is? Just put me in Slytherin, you have other people to sort you know."

_"You may not see all the Gryffindor qualities in yourself, but rest assured that they are there. Very well then, since you so desperately want to be a Slytherin, I shall grant you your wish, little Prince. Just remember to keep your friends close and always follow the goodness in your heart. Good luck in_

_SLYTHERIN!"_

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_A/N- _This was written for the "Conversation with a hat" Challenge. The challenge was to write a story with a character talking to the Sorting Hat using only dialogue, I thought it was easy then found myself utterly baffled as to how to write it, somehow I manged and I hope you'll all enjoy it. Thanks to my amazing beta debjunk for looking this through. Next up is Millicent.

Please review~!


	2. Millicent Bulstrode

_Disclaimer- I don't own it an never will. JKR owns all the Harry Potter characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun. _

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"Bulstrode, Millicent"

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"_Welcome to Hogwarts, my dear"_

"Wow, you can talk. That's so awesome!"

"_Thank you. Now, let's see what house we can put you in. Do you have any preferences?"_

"Hmm…not really. Could you tell me about the Head of each house? Maybe if I know a bit more, I can help you decided. Please?"

"_How could I refuse such a polite and charming young lady?"_

"I'm charming?"

"_You sound surprised."_

"Yes, well…no one has actually ever called me charming before. They usually just tell me to stop eating and lose weight. It's not my fault I'm bigger than most girls my age."

"_How very rude of them to tell you such a thing. Rest assured that you are charming. Now let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we?"_

"Oh, yes, please."

"_Professor McGonagall is the Head of Gryffindor house. She is strict and does not tolerate laziness. Professor Flitwick, he is the Head of Ravenclaw. He is the Charms professor. Very caring man and loves to talk. He is also strict like Professor McGonagall, but not as much. Next up is Professor Sprout. She is the Head of Hufflepuff. She is the Herbology professor. She treats her students like her plants, with care and love. Finally, we come to Professor Snape. He is the Head of Slytherin and the Potions professor."_

"That's it? He's just the Head of Slytherin and teaches Potions?"

"_Well, my dear, there really isn't much to say about the man."_

"Is he mean? Kind? Smart?"

"_Oh, he's not smart. He's brilliant. He is the youngest Potions master in Hogwarts history. I haven't really talked to him since his sorting. But from what I do remember, is that he wasn't very kind. Threatened to burn me, that one did."_

"Hehehe"

"_Oh, you find that funny, don't you?"_

"I'm sorry, but it kind of is. Professor Snape sounds very interesting. May I please be in his house?"

"_You want to be a Slytherin?"_

"Oh, yes, please! Do you think I will fit in there with the others?"

"_Hmm… well… Gryffindor is out of the question, you're not reckless enough. Ravenclaw is also not an option_. _You're smart, yes, but I think you would rather be making friends instead of constantly studying. Hufflepuff and Slytherin, the two houses to choose from."_

"I don't want to be in Hufflepuff. It sounds like the kind of place where left overs are put."

"_Well, well, well, there is a lot more Slytherin in you, my dear, if you think that. Yes, I think Slytherin is where you belong. Just a bit of advice, though. When ever you doubt yourself, never hesitate to talk to your friends. There is one thing I should perhaps tell you. Professor Snape may not be the kindest of people, but he will always protect his snakes, when needed. Now, have fun in _

_SLYTHERIN!_

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A/N- So what do you guys think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Review!

Next up is Pansy Parkinson


	3. Pansy Parkinson

_Disclaimer- I don't own it! The Potterverse is not mine. If it was then I would be extreamly rich and have Severus all to myself._

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"Parkinson, Pansy"

"_Ah, a Parkinson, haven't seen one in __year__s…"_

"Shut up you moldy old hat! Put me in Slytherin already. That's the only house that's worthy of having me in it."

"_I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. What did you say? You want to go to Gryffindor?"_

"No! I said Slytherin!"

"_I __keep hearing Gryffindor. How abou__t Hufflepuff?"_

"SLYTHERIN"

"_Ah, ah, ah__! What's the magic wor__d?"_

"…"

"_Sulkin__g does not become you dear. Makes your face look like a monkey."_

"How dare you! I'm beautiful! More beautiful than any other girl here."

"_Oh,__ the lies they tell you. Now, why do you want to go to Slytherin__?"_

"Because, my whole family has always been in Slytherin. Also, because Draco Malfoy is in there. **I'm** going to marry him."

"_How lovely…snore! Don't you ever think about anyone else besides yourself?"_

"Hmpf! Why should I? **I'm** better than all of these losers."

"_Takes one to know one"_

"What did you say?"

"_I said I'm surprised you can keep your feet to the ground with all the hot air running through your head. Hmm…hopefully Professor Snape has a potion for that problem in…_

_SLYTHERIN!_

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A/N- So there you have it! Hope everyone enjoyed it. I sure did, it was too much fun making Pansy suffer. This was the last one I am going to write about since it really is hard to just do the story with the characters talking and nothing else. That was part of the challenge. Please review! I would love to hear what you guys thought about it.

Thanks for my lovely beta Deb, who helped make this story look amazing.


	4. Horace Slughorn

_Disclaimer- What did this author tell J. K. Rowling? "I don't own it. But you sure do!" : D_

_A/N- So after much consideration I decided to start these drabbles up again. If there is anyone from the Slytherin House you would like me to write their sorting to let me know. I'll try my hardest to make it an amusing one. From this chapter onward, they will not be part of the challenge, the first three chapters are though. _

_A huge thanks to my beta debjunk for working her magic. _

_Please review once you are done. I live off reviews! Thanks!_

_Italics- Sorting Hat_

Regular- student talking

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**Horace Slughorn**

_"Slughorn, Horace"_

"Yes, that's my name. Are there many talking hats?"

_"Not that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?_"

"No reason. Hmmm…I wonder how much a talking hat is worth?"

_"Young man, I can hear your thoughts."_

"What? Oh…I…Umm…I'm sorry."

_"You're not planning on selling me are you?"_

"Of course not!...could I?

_"No! You can't sell me."_

"You're right; you're too moldy and old. What do you say to a traveling show?"

_"No. Now, be quiet and let me do my job. There's bound to be a house that'll be able to handle you."_

"Signed photos?"

_"What did I say about staying quiet?"_

"Private shows! You could be famous you know? I know just the right people."

_"SLYTHERIN!"_

_Please Review_


	5. Blaise Zabini

_Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter and its characters, the rightful owner is J. K. Rowling. _

A/N- Yay! A new chapter! I hope you all enjoy this one and the other four I have written.

Thanks to my amazing beta debjunk for working her magic!

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"Zabini, Blaise"

"_Oh, how fun. It's been years since I sorted a Zabini."_

"Father was right, you do smell."

"_Why, you disrespectful little child! I'll have you know the house-elves clean me every week!"_

"Whatever, it's not like I care."

"_Well, it's not like I care about your big head either."_

"I don't have a big head! Mother said I didn't..."

"_Oh, you poor boy."_

"You must have been made by Muggles."

"_Your nose is out of place."_

"You're made out of cheap fabric."

"_You have one leg longer than the other."_

"I DO NOT!"

"_Well, stop insulting me, and I'll stop pointing out your flaws."_

"Fine! Just sort me!"

"_Sweet Merlin! I hope Professor Snape has something for that attitude of yours in...SLYTHERIN."_

Please review! 


	6. Tom Riddle

_Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Potterverse! The lucky woman to do so is J. K. Rowling. I merely own...uhm my brain!_

A/N- I'm absolutely surprised at all the reviews I got from the last chapter. A few people have asked me to write Malfoy, what I want to know which Malfoy? Keep letting me know who you would like to see be sorted next!

My beta debjunk is epic! Thanks to her, this story is now safe for human eyes.

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"RIDDLE, TOM"

"_Well, well, well, what do we have here? A Gaunt is it?"_

"A what?"

"_Nothing, dear boy, nothing. Just an old hat's mumbling. Let's take a look now, shall we?"_

"Look where? What do you think you are doing?"

"_Will you stop that? All that moving in your head is making me dizzy!"_

"Why are you looking into my mind? Is this some control method the school has to keep students in line?"

"_Control method? Well, you're obviously raised in the Muggle world. If you would stop moving around, then I can tell you what house you belong to. Or do you want to sit here all night long whilst everyone looks at you?"_

"I'm sorry, sir."

"_It's quite all right. It happens from time to time."_

"So? What house do I belong to?"

"_Rather impatient, are we?"_

"Sorry."

"_Hmm... difficult, very difficult indeed."_

"What is?"

"_You, my dear."_

"Me?"

"_Yes, you are very intelligent, always yearning for knowledge. But there is a place in your heart that demands power. Power isn't everything you know."_

"Of course power is everything. With power, people wont push me around. With power, I will one day become the greatest wizard ever. Greater than Dumbledore himself. Just you watch, one day I'll rule over everyone!"

"_Is that so? I highly doubt it. The day you rule over everyone, is the day that I grow legs."_

"Insolent idiot! Just sort me all ready!"

"_Very well. I would tell you not to seek so much power, but I get the feeling my advice is not wanted."_

"No it's not. You're just a moldy, old hat. Why would I want your advice?"

"_It could save you in the future. But very well, I can only see one house for you. SLYTHERIN!"_

_Sixty-years later:_

"_Ah, Finky, a favor my dear elf."_

"Yes, Master Hat, sir?"

"_There's no legs growing from under me, are there?"_

"Master Hat is very funny. Legs are not for hats!"

"_I was just making sure. I told him it would never happen."_

"You tell who, Master Hat?"

"_Just a little boy filled with hate."_

_Please Review!_


	7. Lucius Malfoy

_Disclaimer - At the stroke of midnight, New Year Eve, I made a wish to own Harry Potter. Two days later, I got a plasma t.v...I don't own Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling is the lucky one to own them._

A/N- Well, here we are, with an update. Yay! Many of you have asked for Lucius so I hope this is somewhat what you were thinking of.

Next up: Andromeda Black.

_**The following story was made safe for human eyes by the amazing beta debjunk. Please enjoy and review. **_

"Malfoy, Lucius"

"_You seem troubled, young Malfoy."_

"Of course I am! My hair! I spent all day making sure it was perfect. I didn't know they were going to drop some old hat on top of my precious hair!"

"_Oh, hush, will you? Nothing to worry about, that receding hairline will soon stop your worries."_

"I'M GOING BALD?"

"_Of course not! Not completely bald, maybe a little but it'll give you a dignify look about you."_

"I do not want a bald spot. No Malfoy has ever been bald!"

"_As far as you know."_

"What?"

"_I didn't say anything."_

"Well, get on with it! I don't know why you are wasting your time. Just sort me into Slytherin."

"_Hmm? Did you say something? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your huge ego."_

"My father..."

"_Your father will what? With Dumbledore here, your father has very little say over the happenings of Hogwarts."_

"We could find a new way to sort students."

"_You know, I'd be inclined to believe that if the last four Malfoy's I've sorted hadn't said the same thing. For a Pure-blood, you have very poor manners. Yes, I think I know just where to put you. They might at least teach you how to live up to your status. SLYTHERIN!" _


	8. Andromeda Black

_Disclaimer- I looked all over my house for it but I couldn't find these files that said I was the owner of the Harry Potter world. J K Rowling is the proud owner nothing belongs to me._

A/N- **The following has been beta'd by the amazing debjunk. Please, feel safe in reading this.**

_Andromeda Black_

"Black, Andromeda"

"_Oh, my! A Black is it? My, you sure don't seem like one."_

"Do you think I was adopted? Because I sure do! I don't think at all like Cissy and Bella!"

"_Hmmm, yes, I can see you don't. You and your sisters are very much opposite from one another."_

"My sisters think I'm a fool for thinking that Muggle-borns and Pure-bloods are equals. Do you think they are right?"

"_Nonsense! They are the fools."_

"Then Mama said that it shouldn't take you long to sort me, because I'm pure-blooded and no Muggle-born or half-blood ever goes to Slytherin."

"_Well, let me tell you a little secret, my dear. You're mother doesn't know everything she claims to know."_

"Really? That doesn't mean you can put me in Gryffindor!"

"_Oh, my dear girl ,I think you can read my mind!"_

"Are you seriously considering placing me in Gryffindor?"

"_And what if I am? You do have the heart of a lion. But, I think that the only house that will help you understand the world and challenge it is... SLYTHERIN!"_

**Don't forget to review~**


	9. Vincent Crabbe

_Disclaimer: I am not J. __K. Rowling therefor I do not own Harry Potter and it's characters. Otherwise, Snape wouldn't have gone on that extended vacation to the Bahamas... _

_A/N - My muse has come back! My muse had come back! That is all *bows*_

_A huge thanks to my superduper amazing beta debjunk. Thanks girl!_

_Italics - Sorting Hat_

Normal - Student

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"_Crabbe, Vincent"_

"Uh."

"_You're very obtuse aren't you?"_

"I'm not a octopus. I'm a boy."

"_..."_

"..."

"_You're not the brightest are you?"_

"I'm not stupid if that's what you're saying."

"_Of course not. But you're not exactly Ravenclaw material either."_

"And who said I wanted to go in that house? Father says that all they do is study and keep their noses in their books."

"_Well, you're obviously not Gryffindor material either. You don't seem like the kind to just jump into danger."_

" Don't tell me. I'm a Hufflepuff."

"_There's nothing to be ashamed of, you know."_

"It's not that. Father would be mad if I was anything but Slytherin. I'm suppose to be Slytherin. I'm suppose to be friends with Draco. I'm suppose to follow orders..."

"_But?"_

"I don't want to be a Slytherin. I'm not cunning, smart; I can't be a strong leader!"

"_So where do you want to go? It is your choice where you want to go."_

"Slytherin."

"_Are you sure?"_

"Slytherin, please."

"_Very well, I hope you find what you're looking for in...SLYTHERIN!"_

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**Please review!**


	10. Gregory Goyle

_Disclaimer - I don't own it! It was huge shock to me when I first heard._

_A/N - Another update! These seem to be easier to write than my other stories... -nervous laughter- I'm working on the other ones I swear!_

_Big thanks to my amazing beta debjunk for looking this over to make it safe for your eyes. :D_

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"_Goyle, Gregory"_

"Sweet Merlin, I'm starving! What do you think they'll serve us for dinner?"

"_Well...I-I'm not sure. I don't need to eat so I don't know what people eat."_

"Wow, it must be awful not to be able to eat! How can you stand it?"

"_There's a saying that goes like this, 'You can't miss, what you never had.'"_

"That made no sense. Can you sort me already so I can go sit down? You're boring."

"_I think Hufflepuff will..."_

"Don't. You. Dare."

"_Excuse me?"_

"I said, don't you dare. If you put me in that sissy house, I'll rip you to pieces."

"..."

"..."

"_Well, what house do you want to go to?"_

"Slytherin."

"_And, why would that be?"_

"Because, dad said that only the strong people go to Slytherin. All the other stupid people go to Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw."

"_But Ravenclaw__s are known for their intellect."_

"Who cares! Just because they are smart don't mean they know how to use their brains. Besides, my Dad was a Slytherin which means I'll get to do anything I want."

"_Oooh how badly informed you are."_

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"_It means, you best watch what you wish for."_

"Please! Draco Malfoy may think he rules all because his dad is richer than mine, but I'll be the Prince of Slytherin before you know it."

"_Oh my! I'd really liked to see this. But, don't say I didn't warn you, you little...SLYHERIN!"_

**Two days later:**

"Mr. Goyle, Professor Snape agrees with Professor Sprout on your punishment for pushing Miss Hifle into greenhouse number three. I'll be informing your father about this incident and you'll serve a week's detention with Professor Snape. Understood?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"Good! Why don't you stay a little closer to Mr. Malfoy; he could be a good influence on you."

"Yes. Head. Master."

"I would appreciate it, Mr. Goyle, if you would stop glaring at the Sorting Hat."

"..."


	11. Scorpius Malfoy

_Disclaimer - I don't own it. The only thing I own is uhmm my brain?_

A/N - Okay, so I'm trying to do things differently so as to not follow a pattern. I hope I did relatively okay. If not, please don't flame. Nappa is afraid of fire...

A huge thanks to my beta debjunk for her beta-ing skill! Enjoy~!

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"_Malfoy,__ Scorpius"_

"Good evening, Mr. Hat."

"_My, my, aren't we polite?"_

"Yes, sir. Mother told me I should always greet people nicely."

"_And whom,child, would your mother be?"_

"Astoria Greengrass, sir. My father is Draco Malfoy, as you can guess from my last name."

"_Yes, yes, interesting outcome. But my dear boy, do call me Arthur. 'Sir' makes me feel old."_

"O-o-okay, Arthur. Is that really your name?"

"_No, but I've always wanted to be called that. Now, where shall we put you? Are you a Slytherin like your mother and father? Or are you a Raven?"_

"...Are those my only choices, si-...Arthur?"

"_Well, you could be anything__, but those are the ones where you would do well."_

"Slytherin, please!"

"_Such enthusiasm! And if you don't mind me asking, why Slytherin?"_

"Because I'm not evil! Because I'm not my father. I want to show the world that not all Slytherins are evil."

"_Of course they're not. After all, the greatest Potions Master to ever grace the halls of Hogwarts was a Slytherin."_

"Severus Snape."

"_You know of him?"_

"Father always speaks highly of his Godfather. I wish I could have met him. What was he like?"

"_Him? He was a foul tempered child..."_

"Not my dad, Arthur! Severus Snape!"

"_Oh, right Severus Snape! Well, he was one as well, but __a brilliant mind that one. Yes, I've yet to sort anyone with any potential to be as brilliant as he was. But...well...this year might be different..."_

"I think you should sort me now, Arthur. People are waiting."

"_Quite right__; you're quite right. Are you sure about your choice?"_

"Yes, please! I'm not evil!"

"_Obviously."_

"Can I visit you sometime? I like you. I don't know why father said you were dumb."

"_He's obviously jealous. Any time you want to visit me, just ask one of the Professors and they'll talk to the Headmistress. Now, good luck on your mission, Scorpius. You're sure to do great in ...SLYTHERIN!"_


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